
All of us are experiencing something together for the first time in the history of modern humans – a pandemic. A pandemic so pervasive that no nation is untouched by it on the Earth as of today. As of writing now, there are already more than 1.8 million cases worldwide, and this has forced most of the nations to lockdown cities, states, or even districts to a certain degree. Social distancing, also called “physical distancing,” means keeping space between yourself and other people outside of your home is the only effective in breaking the chain of the spread of this deadly virus until vaccines are developed.
Those who are lucky and privileged enough to still have the jobs and food on their tables are suffering from uncertainty, anxiety, and restlessness to various degrees. I’m sure everybody would have lost their minds if suddenly somehow internet goes down for everybody during this pandemic. Our reliance on these media tricks our brains thinking that everything is fine (or going to be fine). Zoom and Netflix can work only this certain extent. Duh! But at the same time, not everything adds up correctly. A lot of people from software and internet companies have reported quite a good boost to their productivity by work-from-home. Still, not everyone is fortunate enough to have a productive quarantine. The emotional balance is disturbed among all the people from all walks of life, and this can have severe implications for the well-being.
People often meme and joke about why this crisis doesn’t affect those who are introverts or loners. It was thought that it quarantine would be a paradise, but it not from the experience of many individuals. Despite the presence of Zoom, which grew from an enterprise service to become the tip of tongue for many who are using it to connect with our loved ones, there is some human connection that is missing. The situation has been particularly stressful for teachers who are teaching remotely. However, a lot of students appreciate the flexibility and convenience provided by it. Communication usually involves the exchange of verbal and non-verbal signals from both parties involved. The asynchronous teaching environment without constant feedback is challenging for effective learning experience. Video-conferencing services have a come a long way in being seamless. But still, our brains are not evolved to understand only these two signals but often require even more, and due to the absence of those clues & gestures, it feels somewhat awkward. The dissonance due to the feeling of conversing with a person who is far away but still feels like being near is what that makes video-conferencing not a perfect solution of human connection.

Being socially disconnected with friends and family members can take a real toll on anyone’s mental health. Loneliness, a word that shudders a lot of people from becoming a reality and is also common in millions of lives is becoming more common during quarantine. It sucks to be alone all or most of the time. There’s a difference between voluntary solitude when you want to spend time with yourself and loneliness. The former is not unhealthy while the latter throws you in a dark pit which makes you further more hesitant from seeking help. It’s a self sustaining cycle and you avoid meeting more people, open up further, avoid eye-contact, avoid all possible social gatherings, and hence further falling deeper in this pit.
Loneliness is a signal from your brain to tell you to interact with other humans. For most of human history, loneliness was a literal death sentence. For the last few hundred years, it was “just” unbearably painful. Over the previous two decades, it’s been able to be numbed to the point that the pain of pursuing meaningful relationships is now greater. Before our health professionals were asking us to socially distance, a rift on emotional level already existed between lot of people. A lot of people feel the pursuit of effective human relationships is not worth the price when you can just mimic those emotions through “Tinder, Facebook, Instagram, FaceTime, Porn, etc. etc.” There’s nothing wrong with it per se, but I do think it’s essential to figure out if you’re spending time alone because it’s easy, or because it’s actually what you want. I worry that a lot of young people are salving loneliness with video games and porn and Netflix instead of facing the discomfort of curing it.

In truth, you’re always isolated in the isolated section of the universe. Your brain which tells and reaffirms you who you’re undergoes a lot of changes throughout the time. It’s said that every cell in your body is regenerated every seven years, and the body is made up of a different collection of physical materials. At that point, nothing that was once you is not you anymore. All the internal changes and external experiences have been varied and molded you differently throughout these years, and yet we still feel the same. The feeling of being who we are. The veil of ego and masquerade can only delude others and ourselves only till certain extent. Some people spend their whole lives thinking not to be who they are, but someone. In the end it all breaks down and you’ve to accept the stark reality of yourself.
Therefore we can conclude that despite these constant fluxes of external and internal states we still are the same, a bit different because of our memories and experiences. But we are still the same, feel the same in the grand scheme of things.
These beautiful lines from a recent video of Pursuit of Wonder have been stuck in my mind, and they explain the struggle for loneliness quite well.
If anything, it is this that solitude and separation provides. The value and reformative nature of confinement is, at least for me, not necessarily to develop into a different person, but to properly face the strange, painful, difficult, and almost inexplicable person you might really be. The person who isn’t even really a person, but the thing that lacks a complete and obvious person, but longs relentlessly for one. The truth of what you might be, that you went to great, massive efforts to otherwise avoid. And instead, you direct your efforts to learn how to live with this, rather than always lashing and flailing away from it.
Spending a lot of time in solitude is a really good way to learn a lot about who you are, without influence from other people and their opinions or perception of you. It’s a path towards self-discovery. Despite being forced by a lot of people to utilize this lockdown for being hyper-productive and do a lot of things and eventually improve your life, one shouldn’t be bogged down by this. Take up the activities you always loved or wanted to give some time not because of rat-racing but as a process of self-discovery. Sometimes slowing down is not bad, and this is a moment for everyone to slow down a bit and rethink the life which had been passing by us.
Arguably, some level of solitude is inevitable in any life. But perhaps, some level of deeper, intentional solitude is necessary for a good one. Even in a crowd of thousands of people, we are all alone. All the interactions and experiences we have had with hundreds of people happened one-by-one, individually, moment-by-moment. The mind is just receiver to all these interactions and noise of the world. The signal is lost for eternity after it has been received.
The struggle of modern life is that this constant noise surrounds us eventual one will struggle to withstand a moment without it when this noise is turned all the way down during the solitude. Is our receiver broken that it requires constant feed of external noises? Perhaps, a moment of slowing down, and turning down the noise will help in listening to the static buzz of the background. It certainly is difficult and would drive anyone crazy, but persisting throughout will aid one to explore his/her inner mind.
I hope all you readers are having a good time with your family and loved ones. Stay safe and happy, and try to slow down and experience the bliss of this life. Slow down a bit. Explore your inner self and detach yourself from the quest of knowing every minute detail of things happening around in the world. It will drive you crazy.
🙂
PS. – The motivation to write this piece was drawn from Pursuit of Wonder channel.




















